Please to read in Russian accentuate for best effect !
S’cuse my broken Anglish. I hope to get it mended soon. Let me say how nice I am to be able to speak to you all in my blogging.
Let me tell you about my very busy week. On Moonday morning I had to rehearse for my one woman prodiction of “King Kong-The Ballet”.It is such a demanding rollover . You should try being 40 foots tall sometime. Dimitri, my personality trainer is a dear. No, of course he does not have antlers. Silly
Playing a Kong King is very difficult in small theatres but I do get chance to sing the song my chum Tchaikovsky wrote for me, “Hairy Fairy” which I dedicate to my friends Darcy Bussell, Boy George, Lulu and Archbishop Tutu. No wonder they call me the voice of the decayed.
On Tuesday I popped in to Buckinghamshire Palace to collect my second Life Time Achieving Award ( I got my fist when I was just 4 years young). The Queen was out shopping so I had to do with Prince Charlie.
Wednesday I spent resting at my country home in Yorkshireham where I have row of tiny cottages with a walk through passage stretching the length of the village. I give ballet lessons to the miners with the help of the local useful lady, a delightful slut called Rusty Screw. You Anglish have some very odd names.
Thursday. flew to New York for talk with King Kong’s agent who wants me for his next prediction “Godzilla Meets King Kong And Opens a Ballet School”. I thought the title was too long so we shortened it to “King Godziller’s Ballet Boots”. Hollywood is interested but critics have noticed that I have put on some of the weight and suggested I be measured for a ThreeThree whatever that is.
Friday. On the plane back to UK met Anatole Litzkovski, the celebrated nonentity who I had never heard of. After a few vodkas we adjourned to the toilet to discuss, in private, details of a film he wanted to make. He had brought his little camera with him so how could I refuse. Hollywood is interested.
Saturday. My childhood friend Olga Korzitzov came for lunch. Dear Olga. We all called her Ripper at high school with good reason. She studied under Schnitenhausen although it was open to speculation as to exactly what she studied under him. But she always came away looking happy.
Sunday. Spent day relaxing but Olga phoned to say I should get measured for a four by four whatever that is. I may wait until they make me an eight by eight.
Yours friendly, NAT
Monday, 24 March 2008
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