Natasha Fallenover's Blog 17

Natasha’s Bog 17.

Monday

My faithless assistants Dimitri Higginbotham and Slobodan O’Riley have been AWOL for three weeks. When I make enquiries as to where they have been up to I am amazed to hear they have been rehearing for parts in new stage prediction of a show which is part Calendar Girls and part Full Monty.

No wonder on first night curtain up was fifty minuets late . Shenanigans backstage on corridors and in undressing rooms.

Tuesday

Today I tell story of why my name was changed from Fallenova to Fallenover. Translation into Anglish was reason. But you can call me Nat.

Having trouble with my feet so go to see Greek chiropodist Mr Coropodopoulis. His big toe massage is something to behold.

Wednesday

Famous impresario (who cannot be named for legal reasons), phones to ask if I would be interested in playing lead in new prediction of “Dance Of The Sugar Glum Fairy” at Albert’s Hall. I say does he mean Sugar Plum Fairy. No, he says. I accept. Rehearsalising starts next week at Neasden community rooms. Watch this place as they say in West Bromwich.

Thursday

Popped along to see Olga rehearsing for her fan club’s 28^th anniversary concert. She always includes her song, “Olga From The Volga” and frankly her most devoted fans are sick of her “ditty” as she calls it. At last year’s bash she announced “Now fans I will sing for you my favourite ditty you all love and do join in”. There were moans and catcalls from the multitude -all three of them. Shouts of “We want new ditty, we want new ditty” could be heard and banners to that effect were in abundance. Not wishing to disappoint her faithfully fans Olga did the only thing possible. She took off all her clothes and sang al fresco.

Friday

Finishing off jigsaw puzzle of Sahara desert. Can’t wait to start on Atlantic ocean. Proceed with more terpsichorean endeavours (dancing to you) with the Oopsadaysis.

Saturday

Checking out my collection of shoelaces. Did you know I collected shoelaces ? You didn't well you do now. When dinning out in posh restaurants I crawl under tables and relieve diners of their shoelaces. You should see them stumble and fallenover just like me !

Yes, I have over 5000 shoelaces and some are matching pair. Same length and same colour. Blue ten inch are most popular as you will find next time you pop into shoe shop and ask for pair or just one if I have pinched one of yours.

Sunday

Spent all day painting my nails. Ten inch, round head-purple. Flat head four inch-red and six inch screw thread-yellow. Come in handy for my next installation at Tate Modern.

All in a daze work as they say in Cardiff. Tonypandy to all of you

Yours abundantly ????? (I cannot be named for legal reasons)